30 Days - Mad

[felicitygs]

 “Hey,” Tony says, and Loki thinks one, but then Tony makes it imperfect (in-prime), keeps going, “are you okay?”

 

Five Loki thinks. Five is also prime, so perhaps he needs have more faith in Tony.

 

“Yes,” Loki lies, because he does not know if he’s okay. His fingers trip over Tony’s chest, count the wrinkles of his shirt, hands shaking.

 

Bruce might push at that; Bruce would certainly not believe it (and why should he, Bruce who recognizes demons all too well, who is a demon, and it grates, the thought, there, that Bruce knows something is wrong.

 

“What happened last night?” Tony asks, and his voice isn’t careful, it’s insistent, demanding, grounding.

 

“A bad dream,” he says, and that is truth, of a sort, because it was that.

 

(need to count, one-two-three, one-two-three, three three three, blood and bone, blood and bone, he killed her, she’s dying, his fault his fault his fault–)

 

“Hey,” Tony says and Loki closes his eyes–

 

pity that didn’t last longer, pity indeed, but there’s more to do, oh yes yes yes, four left, who next?

 

–and opens them again, aching build-up pressure in the back of his head.

 

“Let’s go out,” Loki says instead of I’m going mad.