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Dev Log 7 - haxeFlixel
2018-Aug-16, Thursday 09:48 am Whew, there's a lot here and I did it all last week before my holiday, and then wrote absolutely nothing about it. I don't suppose it super matters--I didn't get any work done on the game, but here's what I learned, in no particular order:
sure would like to get to work on the game, but i'm going to be following the game tutorial for now to get a feel for the libraries first.
- openFL/FlashDevelop is not the IDE for me, and I ended up uninstalling it after running into a bunch of problems. I just installed visual studio code, and will see how that does.
- a lot of flixel specific stuff is initialized with cmd; projects in particular are flixel template -n "name" -ide vscode after navigating to desired place to put the project.
- FlxState are a subclass and work p much like scenes.
- haxeFlixel is object oriented, nice.
- when FlxStates are loaded, use the create() function to initialize shit and put stuff that needs to update in update()
- games launch from the PlayState by default
- import flixel.text.FlxText - imports the text library
- import flixel.ui.FlxButton - imports ui for buttons
- following that, new FlxButton (x,y,text,function to call) does button setup
- import flixel.FlxG imports a bunch of camera/gui related shit
- var name:type;
- always end with ;
- trace(); shows/follows variables on screen
- var += x is the same as var = var + x
- this works for the basic operators (+ - / * )
- object.screenCenter() centers the specified object on the screen
sure would like to get to work on the game, but i'm going to be following the game tutorial for now to get a feel for the libraries first.
Dev Log 6 - storybeat chat
2018-Aug-09, Thursday 03:36 pm
So this picture is the general base structure for the village, as well as the various branches of the starting path before it syncs up with the main game.
Completed
- actually remembered to double check the choice to give half the forage to the food stores, and make sure it only takes half the stuff.
- created the various village families and their occupations.
- set up the market place
- set up the other forage sites
- figure out the travel distance? honestly think i'm basically done with the twine prototype tho, and how time will work in twine is very diff from how i will have it working in whatever game engine/framework.
- set up the shops
- allow player to trade in some of their forage for favours and such with said shops--communal society means mostly stuff is barter, and everyone does get stuff no matter what
- set up time cycles
- have traders pop in from mid spring to mid fall, while the mountain pass isn't snowed in
- set up unlock for visiting the sister village for the clan
In all this, wanted to make sure I didn't forget the overarching story beats; funnily enough, I've done almost no writing relating to the actual central focus of the story!
- Start: Ease player into game cycle, have them meet Cousin and a few other people, and let them get started
- a few days in: player meets up with the WITCH, who obvs has history with the mc; witch suggests joining at a cove
- cove unlocks: player can visit any time in the week after speaking to witch and meets the ORCAMER :3c
- player is free to build relations with the clan and the orcamer, which eventually branches into.....
- choice: allow orcamer to stay w fisher over winter, or orcamer will leave over the winter migration and return the following year. unavailable if relationship not friendly enough
- which snowballs into choice: romantic or friendly relationship with orcamer
- which snowballs into choice: propose to orcamer!!! or STAY BUDDIES
- also at any point, if the player is a BIG NASTY JERK to the orcamer, relations tank and orcamer is no longer available
- my love is the sea - contains the gray ace/aro ending; the YOU WERE A MEAN JERK BUT PULLED YOUR WEIGHT ending, and so on; friends w the sea; all alooooone
- wuve - ends up pairing romantically with orcamer
- kicked out of clan - player has to be max jerk asshole for this to like.... everyone, and also do absolutely nothing to help the clan. just a real toxic person.
- one season is 25 days.
- game prob takes place over 2~3 years, depending on actions
- maybe let player continue game post, but not sure what post game content, so maybe not
Woops, I forgot to do this right away, so there's probably some stuff I missed! But I do write notes, so hopefully I'll get most of it.
Completed
I did some digging around the two different programs I'm considering. haxeFlixel is a game framework. It uses ActionScript 3 as the base, so there's lots of resources both on the basic as3 stuff as well as for haxeflixel itself. It seems fairly small, but it's an open source framework and looks, at a glance, fairly easy to work with. It would give me a lot of room for customization, and looking through material, it seems to do pretty well with assigning sprites and stuff. Plus there are tutorials and resources on how to import/make sprite sheets and such. As I know ultimately I want this to be a game in a similar style to stardew as far as looks, with a Jotun touch, that's nice. It is a newerish framework though, and pretty small community, so this might end up being difficult for any future problems I run into.
RPG maker is a game engine, which means it's got a lot of scene making stuff out of the box, with tons of shortcuts. I actually own both MX and VX ACE, so I have my choice in resources and what would best suit what I want to do. RPG Maker uses Ruby to write scripts; I have no familiarity with this language either. Since it's a script and not actual from scratch code, this does mean that there are very likely some hard limits to what I can and can't get the engine to do. It does allow for very easy importation of sprites and such, but I hate using the map creator/tileset makers that are provided with vx ace; the layers in mx make more sense to me. Either way, both programs have a ton of scripts other people have already made so I wouldn't have to reinvent the wheel. I also know for sure that the database is built in and supported, plus has a nice gui--really important for the inventory and such.
At the moment I'm leaning more strongly towards haxeFlixel; I love the ability to properly customize everything. What I will probably do to decide is try coding the starting part of the story in both--it's much shorter/less work than the whole game, and critical in either case. Then I can pick which one I want to use long term from there.
Whew. That was a lot!!!!
Completed
- Added a sixth time period (noon) and adjusted the code in all the relevant locations.
- decided which locations allow for foraging
- set up the barebones of foraging for the north mountains
- added connectors to the south beach proper
- added a proper connection from town to home
- resolved fishing so that it sends the player back to town properly and cancels fishing for the day
- added the startup tag to the init passage; this makes it run every time AND gets rid of the initial white space for the starting passage >:3
- About the startup tag! Stick this on any passage you want to run when the game launches; it runs the passages in order, and then kicks to whatever is set in the project as the starting passage. Super cool
- With all that in mind, will probably not actually build the systems proper for now, and keep the twine prototype with just barebones systems. It is, after all, meant to be a reference.
- decide how to pass/update time. When do I want to do that? the end of day or beginning? How do I resolve things if the player decides to them at night?
- Likewise, how do I want to update time for the twine prototype? Might just be a manual update, which is how I set up the fishing for now.
- add in forage basics for the south beach and for grazing fields.
I did some digging around the two different programs I'm considering. haxeFlixel is a game framework. It uses ActionScript 3 as the base, so there's lots of resources both on the basic as3 stuff as well as for haxeflixel itself. It seems fairly small, but it's an open source framework and looks, at a glance, fairly easy to work with. It would give me a lot of room for customization, and looking through material, it seems to do pretty well with assigning sprites and stuff. Plus there are tutorials and resources on how to import/make sprite sheets and such. As I know ultimately I want this to be a game in a similar style to stardew as far as looks, with a Jotun touch, that's nice. It is a newerish framework though, and pretty small community, so this might end up being difficult for any future problems I run into.
RPG maker is a game engine, which means it's got a lot of scene making stuff out of the box, with tons of shortcuts. I actually own both MX and VX ACE, so I have my choice in resources and what would best suit what I want to do. RPG Maker uses Ruby to write scripts; I have no familiarity with this language either. Since it's a script and not actual from scratch code, this does mean that there are very likely some hard limits to what I can and can't get the engine to do. It does allow for very easy importation of sprites and such, but I hate using the map creator/tileset makers that are provided with vx ace; the layers in mx make more sense to me. Either way, both programs have a ton of scripts other people have already made so I wouldn't have to reinvent the wheel. I also know for sure that the database is built in and supported, plus has a nice gui--really important for the inventory and such.
At the moment I'm leaning more strongly towards haxeFlixel; I love the ability to properly customize everything. What I will probably do to decide is try coding the starting part of the story in both--it's much shorter/less work than the whole game, and critical in either case. Then I can pick which one I want to use long term from there.
Whew. That was a lot!!!!
Whew, I feel like I got a fair bit done today. Most of this is structure set up so I can actually just... write in the text I need! As much as I want to keep adding to the story, right now that's on pause while I get the entire town's structure set up. I feel like trying to write a ton of code at the same time as I'm writing all the display text is going to be a recipe for disaster.
New Twine Fax
A bit frustratingly, I've discovered that you can't store passage names in a variable and then use that variable to direct to that location. For whatever reason, it always reads it as the actual passage name. I'm going to dig around some documentation and see if there's a work around for that. It would be super nice to be able to track and reference that for scene transitions. The workaround for now is going to be just using (display: $location), but it's sloppy. Apparently display just appends it to the end of the current page....
On that note, it seems like Twine also reads the space where I've written code as whitespace, which is super duper duper annoying because.... that's code. Not white space. And it's shoving the initial start passage aaaaaaaaaaall the way down the page because that gets displayed after the initial set up runs when the game starts. That will bother me down the road, but for right now I'm going to leave that on back burner and see if there's some other workaround for it.
One cool thing I learned is that I can shove some stuff I need for every passage into its own unconnected passage and simply stick a (display: 'passage') at the start of each passage I need it. That's super handy, and I'll probably do that for a couple other variables as well, especially for some of the gameplay loops I'm considering....
Completed
I feel like I got a fair bit done this time as well!
New Twine Fax
A bit frustratingly, I've discovered that you can't store passage names in a variable and then use that variable to direct to that location. For whatever reason, it always reads it as the actual passage name. I'm going to dig around some documentation and see if there's a work around for that. It would be super nice to be able to track and reference that for scene transitions. The workaround for now is going to be just using (display: $location), but it's sloppy. Apparently display just appends it to the end of the current page....
On that note, it seems like Twine also reads the space where I've written code as whitespace, which is super duper duper annoying because.... that's code. Not white space. And it's shoving the initial start passage aaaaaaaaaaall the way down the page because that gets displayed after the initial set up runs when the game starts. That will bother me down the road, but for right now I'm going to leave that on back burner and see if there's some other workaround for it.
One cool thing I learned is that I can shove some stuff I need for every passage into its own unconnected passage and simply stick a (display: 'passage') at the start of each passage I need it. That's super handy, and I'll probably do that for a couple other variables as well, especially for some of the gameplay loops I'm considering....
Completed
I feel like I got a fair bit done this time as well!
*Set up a 'dateTime' passage in order to display the season : day - time for the player on all passages. That should make it a lot easier for people to budget their time without needing to try and keep track of it on their own.
*actually remembered to make the real home passage, since to this point it just had the game's initial start branch--which does not use the initial home at all. the home, unlike most the game, is not affected by seasons, so i'll need to remember to avoid seasonal descriptions for it.
*in the same vein, added a couple missing locations that i will need for the initial part of town
*set up the docks properly
*set up all the back and forth mess of how the boat will work for fishing. lots of nesting for the time and season, as that's going to affect the fishing, but I do think it'll be ultimately well worth it. I suspect if the game didn't focus so much on the humble fishing village life that I could prob get away with just using 'it is a fine $season day' but oh well. i love sim games, so hand tailoring all the descriptions is well worth it to me.
*added a variable called $location to track where the player is. if i can figure out a workaround for the already mentioned [link test|$location] problem, then that'll be great. Otherwise, it's still going to be very useful for several special events that will happen throughout the year, as I can grab it and use a (display:) to send them back to the proper screen, or even just update it to send them home if it's an all day event.
*debugged the first of probably many missing closing ]s
*Set up time in 5 chunks. I may alter this to 6 later, but for right now they are 1 - dawn, 2 - morning, 3 - afternoon, 4 - evening, 5 - night .
*added in proper seasons and season support.
*added a township variable that will control how well-regarded the player is in town; this will be affected by both how much food they contribute (it's a communal society) and their general demeanor. mean ppl are still not great even if they bring in a lot of food. might need to split this variable later, but added it now just so i can reference it in comments as needed.
To do/future plans
- *add a calendar for special festivals and birthdays the player can reference when at home
- *find a way to fix the white space display at start if i have initialization commands
- *find a way around the stupid link text problem
- *set up the bare bones of the fishing system
- *on that note, set up a basic foraging system for the south beach, northern mountains, and grazing fields
- *decide how the market works, or does that need a rename? do i need a trade system?
- *inventory if trade system and shit
- *what good village life game doesn't have basic inventory!!!!!!!
- *decide if i want a hunger/food mechanic? not really tbh i hate it myself, and i feel like the 5 period day will be plenty to enforce rest
- but should prob implement a penalty if the player stays up all night instead of going to bed
Long Run - August 4
2018-Aug-04, Saturday 01:13 pm
Another long run! This morning I woke up at an absurd 5am. I couldn't sleep, so I just got up and got going.
It was a very very pretty morning! Still humid, but much more tolerable.
The highlight of this morning was definitely seeing these 4 kittens playing when I doubled back to head towards the other end of the river.
Also saw this big boy hanging out :3c
Last but not least, some fun flowers~~
This week was a solid 10.4km, the first time I've hit 10+ km for the last two weeks. Seems my legs have finally adjusted to the new 30km a week route!! Now to get that number higher, and hopefully also get a bit faster.
It was a very very pretty morning! Still humid, but much more tolerable.
The highlight of this morning was definitely seeing these 4 kittens playing when I doubled back to head towards the other end of the river.
Also saw this big boy hanging out :3c
Last but not least, some fun flowers~~
This week was a solid 10.4km, the first time I've hit 10+ km for the last two weeks. Seems my legs have finally adjusted to the new 30km a week route!! Now to get that number higher, and hopefully also get a bit faster.
Made a fair bit of progress yesterday! I'm really pleased, and feel a bit more clear on some stuff I'll need to do. It's also getting pretty obvious this is going to be a fairly big project, but I guess I kind of expected that since it's a game and all. Let's do a quick run down on the newest changes.
change log
change log
- made branchstart and branchend tags--will I keep using these? not sure. Might be better to just make tags for particular subplots/plot points.
- finished the cousin related start branches
- completed the initial start sequence, dumped player back to docks for a partial day 1
to do
- set up season based weather stuff; at the least get the docks spring stuff set up for first month
- decide how to divide up/progress in game time -- quarters, hours?
- how does fishing work? decide mechanics later, get a prototype in for now that links from docks
- set up an inventory and buy/sell for the fish catches (maybe not right away.... systems later, story first)
- decide a basic framework for the mc traits and relationships
learned
- twine does NOT tab indent displayed text, even when it's been tabbed
- right that 'start here' thing exists i should like uh use it for testing instead of tediously looping through the whole thing right good job TESTING IS HARD OK SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH shhhhhhhhhhhhhh
- can set booleans by just typing (set: x to true) no quotes on true/false nice
I'm not sure if I'll keep doing daily dev logs, but I have a feeling that these are going to be super useful down the road, especially since I'll probably end up taking a break at some point. Summer break is about to start, so I'll have about 3 weeks to try and finish up as much as I can before those breaks will get pretty inevitable.
I feel like I've barely started writing a first draft of the game script, and I'm not even through the initial start scripting. Let's go through a couple things I'm doing here.
The game starts fairly linearly, with a couple minor branches that should allow for some character building. The main character/player is going to need to have some variables for stats--but this early, I'm not entirely sure what stats I want to be tracking. I'll get there eventually. This is mostly a prototype for a game I'm going to be building in RPG maker, so the access to a database there should make stat mods much easier to track versus Twine.
I am going to need to flesh out several villagers--right now the only one I have a strong feel for is Cousin (name pending change?), and that's mostly because he's probably my favourite outside of the MC. Either way, I'll get there eventually--for right now, the focus is just on getting the initial systems set up.
You can also already see the various different game locations. Right now, I'm going with a basic if (start != true), then (execute start scripting), and putting all the post start stuff in an else statement. I suspect that these are going to get messy--I need to figure out how to track days/time, as well as the seasons. I suspect each else is going to have nested seasons inside as well, or certain areas will be entirely locked off during particular seasons. It would be nice to have a calendar the player can check as well--I might stick one in the mc's house, actually. That would make sense.
Stuff I learned about Twine
- if I decide to change what engine I'm using, that's relatively painless other than all the rewriting. Might be necessary, though--the only inventory thing I've found uses sugarcube and would need rewriting for harlowe, which is what I'm using. Anyway, that's in the main menu when the story is open.
- the main menu also contains the area to mess with the javascript behind the scenes, so I should have access to javascript objects--objects might make the characters much easier.
To Do
- add some comments about where potential stat changes will be
- finish up the initial outline for the start of the game
Dev Log 1 - Twine
2018-Aug-02, Thursday 01:45 pmSo I've started working on putting together the rough script for my game in Twine. I figure I should be able to at the very least prototype it, and it'll give me an idea of all the different resources I'm going to need to make for the final thing.
But I don't know Twine at all! So I got started the old fashioned way, namely jumping right in and following along with a fairly simple tutorial for a bog standard basic RPG.
But I don't know Twine at all! So I got started the old fashioned way, namely jumping right in and following along with a fairly simple tutorial for a bog standard basic RPG.
Not anything super impressive, to be honest, but it sure taught me a fair bit. Here's some of the stuff I should try not to forget:
- most commands need to be in (parens) in order to work.
- [ ] is for encapsulating if and else statements!!!!
- on that note, you don't need anything for displaying test. You just type it.
- strings can be in either single or double quotes it seems
- (display: "scene_name") is great for doing initialization and then kicking the user to the proper screen unnoticed
- $ is for global variables, _ is for card specific ones
All those people who are like 'twine isn't programming!!!' sure are full of shit though. Basically everything I've done is programming--super simply, yes, and far more transparent that some languages, but this is definitely a programming language.
Long Run - aug 28
2018-Aug-02, Thursday 01:36 pmMy favourite thing about running is my long runs. Especially this time of year--even though it's terribly hot, I almost always see some really beautiful scenery while I'm running.
These are some photos from my last long run--a too humid and miserable experience full of some breath taking scenery. To start, some ducks! I love seeing the different birds I encounter on my runs, and these were actually pretty close as I crossed the stone bridge to the other side of the stream.
The sky was real nice too--if it had been a little less humid, I probably would have spent the whole day outside.
I cross this bridge almost every day for all of my runs--but it was looking very nice on this particular day.
And a bridge I discovered for the first time! I didn't know this bridge existed on the other side of this park. I run past it pretty much all the time, but it's just not visible from the other side of the park thanks to the trees and soccer fields between me and it. It's nice to find another short cut :)
These long runs are such a genuine joy, to be honest, and are almost always the highlight of my running week.
These are some photos from my last long run--a too humid and miserable experience full of some breath taking scenery. To start, some ducks! I love seeing the different birds I encounter on my runs, and these were actually pretty close as I crossed the stone bridge to the other side of the stream.
The sky was real nice too--if it had been a little less humid, I probably would have spent the whole day outside.
I cross this bridge almost every day for all of my runs--but it was looking very nice on this particular day.
And a bridge I discovered for the first time! I didn't know this bridge existed on the other side of this park. I run past it pretty much all the time, but it's just not visible from the other side of the park thanks to the trees and soccer fields between me and it. It's nice to find another short cut :)
These long runs are such a genuine joy, to be honest, and are almost always the highlight of my running week.
alphabet challenge - z
2013-Mar-29, Friday 11:13 am Totally totally went with a bit of Thor thought from the OTP challenge regarding gods and what they are, how they appear as they do, and what lies beneath. Man, I am so in love with this universe it’s not even funny.
Z - Gods
There was a time before Midgard and its mortals, when the stars were nearer and one did not need the Bifrost to step and leap between the realms.
Thor does not remember much of it; he was yet young then, but he remembers this: gold and light and the feel of wings. He remembers storms, storms that would blow stars out and tear planets apart, and racing across time close on the heels of something vast.
Rules and form and shape–too tight, too close, sometimes–didn’t occur until the mortals, and then it happened all so fast, like a blink between one moment and the next.
Thor knows, distantly, the reason they stopped going to Midgard was the worship–intoxicating, heady worship, which both sharpened the senses and restricted them to what the mortals chose to emphasize. There was a time, long past and much younger, when Loki sat at his side and whispered dark things–whispered about Asgard being a mask, about how Aesir were only coiled and slumbering beasts, that all the rules were meant for breaking and they were not half so strong as they could be. Thor had listened, and frowned, and told Loki to stop with such treasonous talk.
There was ever something dark in his brother.
Now, after the fact, Thor can recognize the signs, but then Thor is more given to considered thought than he ever was before, when charging in was usually enough to win the day.
The Aesir are light. When their edges blur, when they are wounded and driven to fury and clawing their way to freedom, their forms are thunderbirds and lions, great golden beasts of summer heat and summer storms that light the sky up like suns, concentrated brightness.
Aesir are not horned.
Thor ever ignored what Loki looked like, because Loki could manipulate fire and heat as well as any Aesir, and surely there was nothing to be said for that. But Loki is also vast and dark and cold.
Loki is horned.
Loki is shadows and poisoned fang, scale and fur, and sharp, ridged horns that rise above his head. When the bounds of what makes Loki appear human are pushed and cracked, Loki is huge, a twisting beast that bites foe as often as friend, a wolf that would swallow the moon for daring to reflect the sun, a terrible horned god that would ride in hunt and devour all in its path.
Thor does not know–does not remember–what the Jotnar look like when pushed to their edges, but he suspects they look a little like Loki. Only a little, because they are merely cold and proud.
Loki’s shadow, for it is shadow, is wrapped tightly around a core of destroy, a core that burns and blazes with the light of a star as it explodes, that Thor fears that one day the darkness will vanish and Loki will burn the world down for no other reason than he can.
alphabet challenge - y
2013-Mar-28, Thursday 11:11 am Y - Light
Once, he was light.
“Does it bother you?” she asks, and the shadows stir-twist-collapse.
Not really they whisper.
“He says he’s not an end.”
The shadows pause, and then he’s there, white skin and gold eyes, tarnished hair that might once have been gold, lounging across the couch.
“He’s not,” he agrees.
“Does that mean you are?”
He tilts his head slightly, closing his eyes, clearly thinking, and she watches. She’s half-nervous, startled; there is something cold in him, that radiates and chills the room, chasing the shadows that follow after him. For all he looks like a dimmed flame, he is not light.
Not anymore.
“Yes,” he finally says. “I believe I am.” He opens cat gold eyes to look at her. “But I am also a start.”
She pauses, thinking of what to ask next.
“Would you like to know the trick?” he asks.
“No,” she says, because she knows his trick, the flames of one stroked to world-burning to bring him to life again. A dangerous trick, because if one doesn’t know how to do it…
He shrugs.
“Pity,” he says, closing his eyes, fading to shadow again. “It’s a good trick.”
She thinks of worship and emotion and devotion laid at his feet, mourning and tears spilled in his name, for him, and how one is never truly dead until no one remembers–and he, he has nine realms that can’t forget.
“It is,” she says, “if you can do it.”
“There is that.”
The last she sees of him is a smile, beautiful and beatific, then the shadows are only shadows again.
alphabet challenge - x
2013-Mar-27, Wednesday 11:10 am X - Protection
“You are shitting me,” Clint says deadpan, looking at Tony and Natasha. “We’re under your protection?”
“Why would I do that? This is much more fun,” Loki says, lounging as if he owns the place, smirking at them. Which, come to think of it, he probably does own the place, at least enough no one in Asgard is going to contest it.
“And why can’t you just whisk us back? Or your brother–”
“Thor.”
“–or your brother; we fight with him, all the time, why the hell doesn’t that buy us at least a free ride home?” Tony asks. “For that matter, if humans need a sponser or some nonsense to stay, where is the rest of the team?”
“You died,” Loki says as he sits up, eyes glittering. Delighted, they realize. “You died in battle most glorious, and the Valkyries were so pleased with your service to Thor and Midgard, they decided you would make fine einherjar. It has nothing to do with being human, and everything to do with being dead.”
“Doom managed to kill all of us?” Natasha asks.
Loki waves a hand.
“Those that matter,” he says. “You three, your Captain. The doctor is still quite alive, though not unexpectedly. He seems to have made quite the mess in the aftermath.”
“You helped him,” Clint accuses.
“How?” Loki says, laughing, making a gesture around the room. “I am here, and have been for some time. Unless you imply I can suddenly escape?”
“Where’s Steve?” Tony asks before Clint can say anything else.
“With Thor, no doubt, or perhaps Baldr.” Loki’s nose wrinkles slightly in distaste. “He’s golden enough for either of them, certainly.”
“We were sorted,” Natasha says.
“What, like some sick Viking Harry Potter?” Clint asks.
“Are all your Valkyries dumb blondes by chance?” Tony says. “Because last I checked, you tried to take over our planet and pretty actively hate us.”
Loki smiles, eyes crinkling, but stays quiet.
“Skillset,” Natasha says.
“Oh.” Tony frowns, thinking. “That would make sense, wouldn’t it?”
“Could someone fill me in?” Clint says.
“Sneaky bastards go to the sneaky bastard,” Tony explains. “Two spies, and a guy who favours his brain over brawn. All chatty and obnoxious as hell when they want to be, willing to defy authority to get the job done–or because they feel like it. Am I close?”
“Very good, Stark,” Loki says, folding his hands over his stomach. His eyes flick to the rest of the group. “Which begs the question what ever shall I do with you?
alphabet challenge - w
2013-Mar-26, Tuesday 11:09 am W. Mind OR Soul OR Heart
“Bright boy, takes after his father.”
She keeps her head down and pretends she didn’t overhear.
Not a boy, she thinks fiercely, quick to smother it before it shows on her face.
Not a boy, but best pretend to be one; easier than dealing with her father.
“Orpheus,” her mother calls from the kitchen.
Phee, she thinks, but she goes to the kitchen.
“Here, help set the table, dinner’s nearly ready,” her mother says with a smile. “You’re not causing any trouble are you?”
“No, Mother,” she says.
Her mother smiles, relieved; one less fight she’ll have to stand watch to, helpless and caught between the man she married and the son (daughter) she carried.
“Be a dear and say hello to Lucas for me when you leave,” her mother says, leaning over to peer in the stove.
“Yes, Mother,” Phee says, gathering up the nice silverware to set on the dinner table.
(Sometimes, at times like this, with everyone saying Orpheus and he and his, she starts to feel disoriented and nauseous, hating everything about herself, hating the clothes she’s in, and a part, quiet and vicious and self-doubting, whispers this is all in your head.)
“Pheeeee,” Luke says when she sees him later, slipping out with some dessert pressed into her hands by her mother, and she smiles, relieved as Luke drops a kiss on her lips, eyes sparkling and hands running soothingly down her arms. “That your mom’s famous cheesecake?”
“She wanted you to have a piece,” Phee tells him, and Luke’s grin widens, brillance and fire.
“Wicked,” he says, snatching the tupper from her. “Get changed, we’re going out, there’s a party by the riverbank, we’re going.”
Phee grabs the dress off the bed, holding it up.
“Your best told lie,” she says.
“The only truth,” Luke says around a mouthful of cheesecake. “The rest are just blind. C'mon, stop being all thoughtful, you’re out, let’s go be free for a while, yeah?”
